THOUGHTS DURING SEX:  IF HE ONLY KNEW

-hurry up and finish...you're killing me!
-I wonder what the cats think we're doing.
-Uh-oh, he's getting soft.  Maybe he hates me.
-This should be done in about ten minutes, and I'll only lose a half 
hour's sleep.
-I think I'll place his hand...here.  OOOH, much better.
-I'm an eaglein flight...swooping, circling, soaring.
-Where can I find wallpaper to match the teal rug?
-AM I moaning so loud the neighbors hear?
-Those thirty extra crunches really paid off.
-Makeyour tongue firmer. FIRMER!
-Can't it be like in the movies just once?
-I wish my son wasn't home so we could do this on the living room rug.
-His natural musk is...shall we say, distinctive.
-Please, please don't notice my cellulite.
-I want him to come so hard he passes out.
-I'd rather be reading.
-Nice pecs.
-We're making some amazing shapes!
-I'm about to climax for all womankind.
-Oh, my god, he has hair on his back!!!
-How did his last girlfriend do this?
-His penis seems to take a left turn.  Interesting.
-What if I gag?
-Where the hell did he learn that?!?
-Now my ear is all wet.
-Thank God for bikini waxes.
-I wonder what Mother would say about this.
-Ouch! Watch your teeth.

------->>Courtesy of Glamour Magazine